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Cruel IntentionZ View Drop Down
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Val and I share Mikey

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Posts: 1600 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Cruel IntentionZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: FML
    Posted: 20 Mar 2010 at 6:48am
i found this funny site www.fmylife.com

reply to this thread with your favorite line from the site.. i'll start off with three..

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

Today, I listened to my room mate having se x from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was ma sturbating. FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend’s work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, “Just this fat chick I know”. FML

for the idiots out there... FML stands for "fu.ck my life", have fun.
Some people are alive simply because it’s against the law to kill them.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Mar 2010 at 7:30am
LOL, I love this site   :D  one of my Favorites I remember reading....

"Today I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on so I asked my friend how to say "f*** me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "pollo frito". I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming fried chicken.  FML"

another was

"Today I went to kiss my boyfriend, when he violently sneezed into my mouth. FML"
and
"Today, an elderly lady swore at me for not holding a door open for her. The door in question was automatic. FML"
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Stinger Noob

Joined: 31 May 2009
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Posts: 2248 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Dr4g0v Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Mar 2010 at 8:02am
French website is VDM.com "Vie de Merde" (Sh!tLife)

"Aujourd'hui, je me rends chez ma grand-mère très âgée et la trouve sur le canapé, ne bougeant plus. J'appelle immédiatement les pompiers, la police, le SAMU. Quand je me retourne pour la regarder, elle me sourit et dit : "Je t'ai bien eu." VDM"

Translation :

Today, I went to my grandmother's very old and is on the couch, she do moving more. Immediately call the fire department, police, EMS. When I turned to look, she smiled and said: "it's a joke". FML
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qM's Cheerleader

Joined: 14 Dec 2009
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Posts: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Sephiroth_V7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Mar 2010 at 10:23am
i got one that actually happened to me the day after st pattys day, got up the next morning and walked back to the bar i was at the night before to get my pickup, 25 blocks of walking later i get there and my truck isn't there, come to realize my truck was in my apt. building parking lot the whole time just dont remember driving home, so had to walk back... FML

aka - priebe69, DEEP_BrokeBack, GOW_AftaBirth
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Cloudy_Serendipity View Drop Down
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Posts: 1511 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Cloudy_Serendipity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 7:36pm
lol this one reminds me of Cornholio... or as he should now be named "nutholio":
Today, I found out that I don't digest almonds and popcorn very well. Every time I use the bathroom, it feels like I'm sandpapering my butthole. FML

Harsh but funny:
Today, I came home extremely mad. I kicked a pillow on my bed as hard as I could. It wasn't a pillow. It was my cat under a blanket. 
All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream

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Posts: 416 		Post Options Post Options   Quote shewulph Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 9:33pm
omg id hate to be these people.

Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgewise for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
this is my cup of care -> \_/

oh look. it's empty.
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Val and I share Mikey

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Posts: 1600 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Cruel IntentionZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 10:32pm
Originally posted by shewulph



Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
 
LMAO, thats pretty messed up!
Some people are alive simply because it’s against the law to kill them.
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Posts: 1511 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Cloudy_Serendipity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Apr 2010 at 10:17am
I know I just nearly p!ssed myself when i read that one!
All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream

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Cruel IntentionZ View Drop Down
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Val and I share Mikey

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Posts: 1600 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Cruel IntentionZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Apr 2010 at 11:23am
Originally posted by Cloudy_Serendipity

I know I just nearly p!ssed myself when i read that one!


i did p!ss myself. FML!
Some people are alive simply because it’s against the law to kill them.
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FehtalaTee

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Posts: 2979 		Post Options Post Options   Quote FehtalaTee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Apr 2010 at 12:29pm
Originally posted by shewulph

omg id hate to be these people.

Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML
i was there 4 dat Bday birthday party n shes my girl 2 FML....lol jk but dats some funny shltClap
Me and Penguins about to go HAAAAAM!!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2010 at 4:40pm

lol that's sum funny s hit!!! FML!
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The Fluffer

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Posts: 2065 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Fluffy Fluffington Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2010 at 5:19pm
There's a similar Website called Texts from last night
 
 
 
heres some of my favorites:
 
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The Fluffer

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Posts: 2065 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Fluffy Fluffington Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2010 at 5:21pm
another good one:
 
I need to start cutting my cocaine w plan B
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Posts: 2510 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Pinnacle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2010 at 7:24pm

"I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she said I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about **** that doesnt matter."

 

"Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing."

 

"Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven."

 

 

"She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were f***ing." - Yangin
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