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FML |
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Pinnacle 
Forum Moderator 
Joined: 14 Dec 2008 Location: Dogtown, CA Online Status: Offline Posts: 2510 |
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 Topic: FMLPosted: 16 Apr 2010 at 7:24pm |
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"I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she said I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about **** that doesnt matter." "Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing." "Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven." "She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were f***ing." - Yangin |
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Fluffy Fluffington
Team Deep 
The Fluffer Joined: 11 Mar 2009 Location: USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 2065 |
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Posted: 16 Apr 2010 at 5:21pm |
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another good one:
I need to start cutting my cocaine w plan B
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Fluffy Fluffington
Team Deep
The Fluffer Joined: 11 Mar 2009 Location: USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 2065 |
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Posted: 16 Apr 2010 at 5:19pm |
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There's a similar Website called Texts from last night
heres some of my favorites:
And my all time favorite:
"I need to cut my cocaine with plan B"
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Posted: 16 Apr 2010 at 4:40pm |
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lol that's sum funny s hit!!! FML! |
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FehtalaTee
Godlike Member 
FehtalaTee Joined: 24 Jan 2010 Location: Virginia Online Status: Offline Posts: 2979 |
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Posted: 04 Apr 2010 at 12:29pm |
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 Me and Penguins about to go HAAAAAM!!
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Cruel IntentionZ
Team AA
Val and I share Mikey Joined: 09 Jul 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1600 |
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Posted: 04 Apr 2010 at 11:23am |
i did p!ss myself. FML! 
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Cloudy_Serendipity
Team PcX
Joined: 21 May 2009 Location: UntidiedKuntdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1511 |
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Posted: 04 Apr 2010 at 10:17am |
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I know I just nearly p!ssed myself when i read that one!
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All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream
Map Hosting: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/6luhe8b1pj52y/Cloudy's%20Files |
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Cruel IntentionZ
Team AA
Val and I share Mikey Joined: 09 Jul 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1600 |
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Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 10:32pm |
LMAO, thats pretty messed up!
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shewulph
Ultra Member 
Joined: 08 Mar 2009 Location: asdf Online Status: Offline Posts: 416 |
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Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 9:33pm |
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omg id hate to be these people.
Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgewise for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML |
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this is my cup of care -> \_/
oh look. it's empty.  |
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Cloudy_Serendipity
Team PcX
Joined: 21 May 2009 Location: UntidiedKuntdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1511 |
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Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 7:36pm |
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lol this one reminds me of Cornholio... or as he should now be named
"nutholio":
Today, I found out that I don't digest almonds and popcorn very well. Every time I use the bathroom, it feels like I'm sandpapering my butthole. FML Harsh but funny: Today, I came home extremely mad. I kicked a pillow on my bed as hard as I could. It wasn't a pillow. It was my cat under a blanket.
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All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream
Map Hosting: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/6luhe8b1pj52y/Cloudy's%20Files |
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Sephiroth_V7
Team Deep
qM's Cheerleader Joined: 14 Dec 2009 Location: SoDak Online Status: Offline Posts: 5105 |
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Posted: 20 Mar 2010 at 10:23am |
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i got one that actually happened to me the day after st pattys day, got up the next morning and walked back to the bar i was at the night before to get my pickup, 25 blocks of walking later i get there and my truck isn't there, come to realize my truck was in my apt. building parking lot the whole time just dont remember driving home, so had to walk back... FML
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 aka - priebe69, DEEP_BrokeBack, GOW_AftaBirth |
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Dr4g0v
Team Devil
Stinger Noob Joined: 31 May 2009 Location: France -Le HAVR Online Status: Offline Posts: 2248 |
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Posted: 20 Mar 2010 at 8:02am |
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French website is VDM.com "Vie de Merde" (Sh!tLife)
"Aujourd'hui, je me rends chez ma grand-mère très âgée et la trouve sur le canapé, ne bougeant plus. J'appelle immédiatement les pompiers, la police, le SAMU. Quand je me retourne pour la regarder, elle me sourit et dit : "Je t'ai bien eu." VDM" Translation : Today, I went to my grandmother's very old and is on the couch, she do moving more. Immediately call the fire department, police, EMS. When I turned to look, she smiled and said: "it's a joke". FML |
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Posted: 20 Mar 2010 at 7:30am |
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LOL, I love this site :D one of my Favorites I remember reading....
"Today I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on so I asked my friend how to say "f*** me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "pollo frito". I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming fried chicken. FML" another was "Today I went to kiss my boyfriend, when he violently sneezed into my mouth. FML" and "Today, an elderly lady swore at me for not holding a door open for her. The door in question was automatic. FML"
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Cruel IntentionZ
Team AA
Val and I share Mikey Joined: 09 Jul 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1600 |
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Posted: 20 Mar 2010 at 6:48am |
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i found this funny site www.fmylife.com
reply to this thread with your favorite line from the site.. i'll start off with three.. Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML Today, I listened to my room mate having se x from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was ma sturbating. FML Today, I went to my boyfriend’s work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, “Just this fat chick I know”. FML for the idiots out there... FML stands for "fu.ck my life", have fun. |
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